Sunday, July 10, 2011

How Two Pink Lines Change Everything




July 5th, 2011 a day which will be one of the most important days of our lives. At around 5pm N (my handsome husband) and I walked in to the bathroom to see a Dollar Store pregnancy test with a bright pink control line, and a faint positive line. "Holy crap N, there's a line!" were my first words.


But let's go back, shall we? For the past two years N and I have been going back and forth on when to start a family. He was always ready, I always put pressure on myself to come up with a date and then I would promptly back out of said date. I was petrified of getting pregnant. It is such a huge leap in life, there are so many unknowns, and the outcome is forever. Not only that but pregnancy can be unpleasant, labor hurts, the physical stuff is something that I have to experience alone. Unless there is some magical way to make him experience some of the not-so-fun, it's kinda all on me.


Even though this still weighs on my mind somewhat, I noticed this spring that my outlook started to change. We were missing something. We have been together for ten years, married for four, but it was time that it wasn't just the two of us anymore. I wouldn't trade having this much time alone with N for anything, I think that we are incredibly lucky to have all of this time together. It was time, but I still wanted to make sure I started school and I wanted to take an incredible vacation by ourselves one last time.


The vacation was kind of a pipe dream, but in May N surprised me with a trip to the Dominican Republic for our anniversary. Lo and behold I would be ovulating some time while we were there (June) and I would be starting school in July. Check and check. We decided to give it the old college try while we were on vacation.


I knew it could take months of trying before getting pregnant, I was ready to wait. When we got back I was in the two week wait, trying to ignore any symptoms I might somehow feel. Things were off, though. After two years of charting my cycles I knew my body pretty well, but I gave my self a mental eye roll every time I started to notice something different. I never thought I would be one of those girls who exprienced phantom symptoms while in the two week wait. But here I was wondering why I was so tired "you probably still have jet lag dummy", why didn't my boobs hurt like they usually do "your period is probably just coming a few days late this month moron" etc., etc.


I was going to test if my period was late, but I found my self at Dollar Tree buying three pregnancy tests, you know...for later, a few days before my period was due. N was with me and was as excited as a kid at Disneyland. I decided to test when I got home, but a part of me knew that there was an 80% chance I was not pregnant.


We took the tests upstairs and I took the first one, N set the timer on his phone, and we waited. When it was time to look, we both went in to the bathroom and saw that very faint line. "Holy crap N, there's a line!" My heart started to pound in my chest, "A line is a line, and there is a line there! People don't get pregnant on their first try!" N was unsure so he told me to take an expired digital I had under the sink. When "pregnant" popped up on the screen we immediately hugged eachother and I started crying. It was one of the happiest moments of our lives, I know sappy, right?


Because we had a faint line on the first one and the other one was expired I told N to go get another test from the store. He came back with a two pack and both came up positive as well, so did the other Dollar Tree one I took while he was gone. Five positive pregnancy tests, holy cow here we go!




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