Tuesday, July 12, 2011

4 weeks 4 days

I had my first appointment today. I got to meet my Nurse Practitioner, whom I liked, and she took our histories, gave us a ton of information, and answered any questions that we had. I also got to take yet another pregnancy test while I was there which brings my number up to seven positive tests. I may or may not have taken my last Dollar Tree this weekend for shits and giggles.

N was disappointed that I did not have a physical exam (I was not disappointed by this) because he wanted to make sure everything is all right. He is so over-the-moon ecstatic with this pregnancy, he is afraid something will go wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I have that fear too, but it is comforting to know that he would be just as heartbroken as I would be if something were to happen. ::knocks on wood::

I am really surprised that I have symptoms this early on. I always thought that they all came around six weeks but I must have had that confused with morning sickness, which I am gloriously lacking. Every time I eat it is always in the back of my mind that this snack or meal could be the last enjoyable one for the rest of the first trimester.

So far my biggest symptom is exhaustion. It comes and goes, but when it comes oh boy. I have never been a napper, I think it’s a waste of time and I would rather fight through any tiredness I may feel. Now however, you can find me at least once a day curled up on the couch or on the bed dozing. I get spurts of energy, one in the late morning, one after lunch, and another in the evening until bedtime. I try to get as much done as possible during these spurts because during the non-spurt times I am pretty much useless. I had grand plans of getting projects done around the house this summer but they may not happen.

Other than that I have the usual, tender breasts, incredible bloating (I’m already undoing my pants button, cute right?), and way fun gassiness. I will say the best part about being pregnant is my skin, I’m all glowy and my skin has not been this clear since I got off the pill. I’ll take this symptom any day.

We already have a nickname for our progeny and that is Our Little Stowaway or Our Little Souvenir, as he/she wasn’t there before we went on our trip but came back with us. We have also said that we will call this baby Our Little Dominican Baby in mixed company just to see what reactions we get. Yes we are strange. It is crazy, though, how I already feel a bond to this poppy seed sized Little S. I find myself putting my hand over my stomach, where I feel cramping and cheering him or her on. “Come on Little S! Keep on growing, we love you so much!” N also likes to rub and kiss my belly. (I couldn’t not have a little sappiness in this post) It still blows my mind that I am actually producing a person inside of me, and I feel so incredibly grateful to have this privilege.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

How Two Pink Lines Change Everything

July 5th, 2011 a day which will be one of the most important days of our lives. At around 5pm N (my handsome husband) and I walked in to the bathroom to see a Dollar Store pregnancy test with a bright pink control line, and a faint positive line. "Holy crap N, there's a line!" were my first words.

But let's go back, shall we? For the past two years N and I have been going back and forth on when to start a family. He was always ready, I always put pressure on myself to come up with a date and then I would promptly back out of said date. I was petrified of getting pregnant. It is such a huge leap in life, there are so many unknowns, and the outcome is forever. Not only that but pregnancy can be unpleasant, labor hurts, the physical stuff is something that I have to experience alone. Unless there is some magical way to make him experience some of the not-so-fun, it's kinda all on me.

Even though this still weighs on my mind somewhat, I noticed this spring that my outlook started to change. We were missing something. We have been together for ten years, married for four, but it was time that it wasn't just the two of us anymore. I wouldn't trade having this much time alone with N for anything, I think that we are incredibly lucky to have all of this time together. It was time, but I still wanted to make sure I started school and I wanted to take an incredible vacation by ourselves one last time.

The vacation was kind of a pipe dream, but in May N surprised me with a trip to the Dominican Republic for our anniversary. Lo and behold I would be ovulating some time while we were there (June) and I would be starting school in July. Check and check. We decided to give it the old college try while we were on vacation.

I knew it could take months of trying before getting pregnant, I was ready to wait. When we got back I was in the two week wait, trying to ignore any symptoms I might somehow feel. Things were off, though. After two years of charting my cycles I knew my body pretty well, but I gave my self a mental eye roll every time I started to notice something different. I never thought I would be one of those girls who exprienced phantom symptoms while in the two week wait. But here I was wondering why I was so tired "you probably still have jet lag dummy", why didn't my boobs hurt like they usually do "your period is probably just coming a few days late this month moron" etc., etc.

I was going to test if my period was late, but I found my self at Dollar Tree buying three pregnancy tests, you know...for later, a few days before my period was due. N was with me and was as excited as a kid at Disneyland. I decided to test when I got home, but a part of me knew that there was an 80% chance I was not pregnant.

We took the tests upstairs and I took the first one, N set the timer on his phone, and we waited. When it was time to look, we both went in to the bathroom and saw that very faint line. "Holy crap N, there's a line!" My heart started to pound in my chest, "A line is a line, and there is a line there! People don't get pregnant on their first try!" N was unsure so he told me to take an expired digital I had under the sink. When "pregnant" popped up on the screen we immediately hugged eachother and I started crying. It was one of the happiest moments of our lives, I know sappy, right?

Because we had a faint line on the first one and the other one was expired I told N to go get another test from the store. He came back with a two pack and both came up positive as well, so did the other Dollar Tree one I took while he was gone. Five positive pregnancy tests, holy cow here we go!